This morning I did some deep soul searching with God then took a good look in the mirror this morning.  Deep in my soul there is some hurt lurking.  Things that people have said and done to me has built up a tinted glass wall.  The wall allows me to see people and everything clearly.  I can put my hand on the glass and actually feel them but it also blocks people from getting close to me.  Im safe because no one can touch me and I can always move back so they cant see me because the the glass is tinted.  I know this may sound crazy but its the visual I got today.  

What I also saw today in the mirror was that I was hidden under mounds of STUFF!  The real me is buried behind past abuse and pain.  I will speak on that another day.

So my assignment today is to break through the tinted glass and move the STUFF.

Tonight I will be attending my childhood friends New Years Eve party.  The last time I attended a New Years Eve party was over 25 yrs ago!  LOL kinda sad right?  I don't have a date but who needs one.  Im going to be happy with me, myself & I!  Im going to celebrate new beginnings and a new me!  

No longer will I accept being on the inside looking out. I will be on the outside enjoying life and learning who I really am.

I will take pics of course...  Happy New Years to you all....  Be Blessed

Carmen :)

I have procrastinated for years on this blogging thing that I was suppose to start on January 1st 2012  Well today i was so inspired by someone elses story that i was instantly convicted. I feel like im going to explode because everything that i should have been blogging about is all bottled up inside of me. You see, during my one on one sessions with God, he told me to tell my story.  Now this is where the procrastination comes in.  I guess in away I was afraid to share.  I shouldn't say i guess, I know i was afraid.  I WAS afraid of what others would think or say about me.  Well today I'm not!  I'm trying to figure out exactly where to begin.  As you read my blogs please know that they are suppose to be unedited.  If i go back to fix what I type, the words will changed and the purpose will be lost. So please forgive me now of the misspellings and incorrect grammar.

First i would like to thank and praise God for truly being #1 in my life today.  I thank God for hold me up and keeping me sane when I thought I was insane.  Thank you for the many miracles you have allowed me to receive.  Thank you Lord for showing me who I am, your daughter!

This is the first step, to simply start the process so that everything else can fall into place.

More to come in a couple hours :)

Carmen